MY LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT

I am often grateful I was not born with the psychic ability to look forward in time when I was young. I would have probably run away from my life before it really even started! I always pictured myself as a child psychologist, making millions, and driving a convertible white Mercedes.  I never imagined I would become a single mom raising three kids on my own. I definitely do not make millions and I drive a KIA. At least it is white, even if I prefer the red one now. The trend in single parent families continues to rise. In some geographical areas the rates of single parent homes is up to 85%! Comparing that to forty years ago, the trend of single parent families looks like MT. Everest.

To make matters even more complicated we live in a nation that relies on double incomes for survival.  This means we are either forced to work multiple jobs, win the lotto, find or kids a job, work our rears off long enough and hard enough to squeak by on one salary, or live in poverty. Of course, there are women who skew the data and do not fit into life’s bell shaped curve. However, for most of us, we are skating along that U-shaped mountain just hoping not to fall off or slide back down.

Money is vital to everyone. However, for single moms, just trying to keep a roof over your children’s heads can be so difficult that it leaves little or no room for balancing other aspects of life. Even with the additional challenges, most single moms feel grateful. We give thanks our kids are healthy, we have a place to call home, and we manage to fill empty bellies at night.  We call these the important things in life. We become complacent and do not complain as we watch from the sidelines and wave as our coupled friends take vacations or buy that new car.

Society dubs the single mother as a “Super women” for her ability to handle it all. Friends and co-workers shake their heads in wonderment as somehow we put it all together and keep our chins up. They watch us smile at our six- year old as he stomps through the mud in his new shoes or asks for candy at the grocery store. They are completely unaware that later that evening, after the kids are in bed, the bills paid, and the kitchen clean, when the rest of the world is sound asleep we will weep silently in our hands and pray that someday things will get better.

America is hiding a deep secret regarding the lives of single parent family households. Statistics are just beginning to show the impact raising a child solo is having on our society. The definition of family has evolved over the years in such a way that it is now the new norm for our youth to have one parent at home, mostly the mom.  As hard as a mom might try to meet the entire needs of her family, it is almost impossible to do without help. The problem is that society is not keeping up with the changing needs of families. Single moms still need to work in order to make ends meet just like any other family. Even families where both parents have to work are suffering. At least they can help one another. Untraditional times call for untraditional work options.

There is a saying by Henery Ford. “If you do what youve always done, you will always get what you have always got.”  Well the time has come for change.  Seeking Success for single moms is about collaborating to bring new and innovative solutions to the many issues facing single parent households.

This is my personal journey. Beginning with changing my own patterns of insufficient parenting and ending with a plan to assist other single moms accomplish theirs.  I encourage you all to follow along. I will blog my way through our trials and errors, our triumphs and frustrations. I would love feedback and questions. With faith as our guide and motivation and dedication pushing from behind,  we will make strides towards success that hopefully everyone can benefit from.

 

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